I decolonized my thoughts and sought to confront childhood traumas
Dramas past
When they stabbed that man
Shots fired, blood spilled
Thrill and adrenaline
Fear and insecurity
Subjective justice
Cuffed and concussive
(Synaptic snapshots)
We were trying to hear our hearts
Above the sirens
Above the smoke
Above the bullets
Above the bandanas
We could wander like ghost and not hear our footsteps
Something like
Zombies
Numb, desensitized to hurt
Pain?
How could we see it in the eyes of people we robbed
Pain?
It was a game, fights comical
We just didn't have time to heal
No tools to fill the voids of our insecurities
We roll with the punches, no therapy.
On thin papers we roll up depression, blow slow
Thicker paper we report our stories
Between lines like railroad tracks
And our words depart
As the world journeys through our landscapes, we rap
Wrapped tight still, we bottle our rage
Brown bottles, liquid courage
Numb.
And nobody said it would be easy
We learned struggle before we understood
Only kids, we didn't know we were truly adults
We lived what we couldn't comprehend, daily
Then we grew up and realized it wasn't normal